Guest Speaker

My friend was a guest speaker this weekend, outing herself and her very unique situation to members of the general public for the first time. I'd link you to her blog, but not everyone is on 360. So, I'm posting her latest entry below.

Way to go, Les!
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The (re)Birth of an Activist

Today I spoke as part of a GLBT panel to a church about what it’s like to live my life as an interracially married, polyamorous, bisexual woman. In college, I had helped found the Gay Lesbian Association (GLASS) in 1991, when I was young and idealistic, and felt I could change the world. I was part of the group and helped write the by-laws, and as part of the Student Senate, I helped push for approval of the group’s existence on campus. Somewhere after graduation between dual careers, moves, and babies I lost the drive to be vocal. I wish I could say I was in the closet, but really, I was still in denial about my sexuality.

I didn’t know what to do with those feelings, those longings, and I only knew two choices – lesbian or straight. I knew nothing of bisexuality, or of staying married in a mixed orientation marriage. I was taught it was either / or, not this and that. As I came out to myself and my husband, and stayed in the closet in order to keep my job, and feed our kids, I knew I couldn’t go to church again. It was a place, I had learned all too well, that even in the most progressive ones I’d attended, there was always a ‘hate the sin, but (at best) tolerate the sinner attending’ attitude when it came to anyone different.

This was like no church I had ever attended. It was in suburbia, mostly white, and it looked on the surface to be like all the others, this was truly a place that I had never even imagined could exist. Much less, already did.

I got to speak to them today. I had a chance to educate them about ways I am discriminated against, ways to be more welcoming on a personal level, and draw the correlation between the fight for racial equality to this struggle for sexual equality. But mostly, today, I became visible in the real world for the first time, as all of me.

I had previously only been out to select friends and family, telling them one at a time, and not ‘broadcasting’ it to the world. Today, I stood in front of two different sermons and said something like this.. Hi, I’m Leslie, I’m 37, married, 3 kids, a house, a dog, typical suburbia soccer mom, and I’m a polyamorous bisexual.

I know now that the way we change the views and the equality for those who are GLBTP is to be visible. The same way I’ve been visible with my husband. (Though that was hardly a choice even if I’d wanted to, to hide his race or our children.) That every day that we’re together as husband and wife, parents, co-workers, etc. The world sees us as people. Not as ‘that shhhh interracial couple’ in our neighborhood. Today, I began to stand up and be counted. Today I begin to believe again, that I can change the world, one day at a time.

The questions were varied; the acceptance was phenomenal. I spoke alongside 20-somethings who were all out and proud in college and part of their gay and lesbian student association that also does public speaking events. We talked about how to foster an accepting attitude with kids, within yourself, and within your communities, and how discrimination is pervasive - from no check boxes and no restrooms, to not being able to call someone your wife. I sought for the right words, and feel I left out so many of them. I hoped for the right way to make the members see it’s not about us versus. them in this world. I am not sure I said all the right things, or that I changed anyone’s mind. I certainly wasn’t as eloquent as I’d hoped. But I did convey the one thing that truly mattered to the members sitting in the audience who were just like me and had never verbalized it. You are not alone. I know I did this, because after each sermon, I had a spouse come up to me and say – you told my story. Thank you. So, today they walked out knowing they weren’t alone, and I know that standing up in front of that church and just being visible was enough. And they taught me, there are places where you can find acceptance and not feel alone.

If you want to know more about them, you can visit the church online and find a location near you at www.uua.org or feel free to email me. I am here to be visible and counted for all of us before who couldn’t be, and for those of us still to come, who maybe will be able to more easily now. I am here to say, we are not alone.

Leslie

Mutiny by the Talent

It's been a disturbing weekend on the internet at Chez Trisa. Due to the sleuthing of a very loyal fan (thanks, Maria!), it has been brought to the fore that the Talent formerly of the 80's latino boy band, and currently of nothing except a record label he created for himself, is one shady, lying, untrustworthy, washed up has been.

Years back he and his producer/partner approached my friend Susie about a fan site she had on the net. They asked her to be the Talent's official internet presence, which she has done, for free, since 1998. For a good while, the label was run out of Susie's living room. Susie hooked him up with yahoo groups, myspace, and oodles of online music distributors. She's been the touch stone and source numero uno for most of his fans.

In October, Susie made the mistake of asking a fellow fan/friend to help out with redesigning his website. No, that's not exactly accurate. E told Susie how she'd love to help out with anything she could, since she's in graphic design, and therefore highly qualified in her own eyes; she'd give the website a professional tweak. Susie got it cleared through the label, and E came on board.

But, fellow readers, you may remember that there was Trouble in Paradise. E's sole agenda is self promotion. She does freelance graphic design and will be the first to stand up and say "I did this for ClientX and if you need anything call me." Or even better, "I'm trying to promote the Talent. I can help you improve your website too, just contact me." The girl has no shame. She pushed Susie out of the partnership and the label, which was fine because Susie still ran the Official Site. (She also owns damned near every permutation of the Talent's name that can be created for a domain name/fan site/yahoo group as well as the Talentlabel.com/net, forcing the label to relocate to .org.)

Now the shit has really hit the fan. The talent apparently has been working with E behind Susie's back to create a more professional website using his new stage name. In order to break the contract he was stupid enough to sign, and be able to work and support himself, the Talent is changing is professional name to Talontte. (Professional that is, if you think cut and paste template work is professional. E's website looks eerily like that of her design college.) And neither he, nor the producer, have the balls to tell Susie that they want to go in another direction. They've let her slave over an updated site for over months, knowing all the while that they were yanking her chain.

I don't know about you, but I don't think that's sound business practice, and it's certainly no way to treat your fans. Especially when they are your only source of sales and publicity, and control your entire internet presence.

After such shady dealings, it was time for some light to be shed on the situation. The sites you know and love have been taken down. The fan groups and street team groups are no more. In time, every reference to the Talent's music and sales will be gone. We dedicate ourselves to the new cause, of undoing every piece of work we did on behalf of him and his label. He and his "organization" do not get to continue to benefit from Susie's hard work if they intend to throw her out like so much trash.

Talent, when you were penniless, who did you call for rent money? Producer, while you've been busy playing doctor, who's run your label, insuring some sort of profit? E, how many backs have you stabbed to get to the bottom of your own corporate ladder? Let's face it guys, if Talent was gonna be a superstar, by now, he would be; if Producer wanted to run a record label, he wouldn't be in med school; and if E had any talent, she wouldn't have a day job and be doing graphic design on the side.
Talent told Susie this morning, "It's my name on the fucking web, not yours....they're my fans, not yours." There's no disputing that, but what good will your name do you when it's not on the web anymore? To quote Andy Dick, "Game on, bitches!"

Punked--Diddy Style

Here in Houston there's been a steady increase in celebrity sightings and events. More movies are filmed here. There's the occasional preview. And of course, celebrity hosted sports parties.

Last week, for example, Houston hosted the NBA All-Star's Game. (The game itself got no hype...I didn't even know it was happening. For some reason basketball season hasn't even registered this year; but I digress.) There were apparently several celebrity parties in the area because of the game. And news of celebrity sitings spread quickly.

So as I was heading south to Roxy's birthday party, the freeway was a parking lot, and looking down onto the streets in the Galleria area was frightening. Nothing was moving. Police cars blocked all the exits. What could possibly shut down the roadways?

Maybe traffic is being diverted because of the parties? Maybe W is in town again, trying to act cool and put in an appearance at the game or party? But no. The lookie loos were out in force trying to get a glimpse of any stray celebrity.

My friend D, who does contract work with several companies, was invited to go to P. Diddy's party. The company forked over 20 grand for VIP access and face time with Diddy himself. In the traffic melee, D's new car was sideswiped, but trooper that he is, he went to the party, knowing he was meeting bigwigs and wanting to impress.

But Diddy was a no show. What size balls does it take to charge people 20 grand to come to your party and then not show up? Even Joe Millionaire shows up at the party when he plans to collect the small sum of 10K. I guess Diddy was otherwise engaged during filming of any "Making the Band" episodes that talked about meeting your professional obligations, and not letting down your investors. Could he be more unprofessional? Could he have said "Fuck you, Houston!" any louder?

Bend over Houston, and get out the lube; you've been punked...Diddy style.

Hodge Podge

We just completed the annual Valentine's-but-Trisa's-still-single CiCi's extravaganza. That's right, for the third year running, I went out with my friend and her family. (Thanks guys for including me again!) It's unorthodox, sure, but it beats sitting at home moping because the flowers that were delivered were not for me.

Actually, this time was rather different. It was Old School week at CiCi's. We ran into a family that used to attend my school, so the adults and 15 year old manned one table, while the younger set shunned us entirely, except of course when they needed change for the video games.

I'd been trying to find GiGi actually. She's a published author and I'd read a couple of her books and wanted to get more. But could I remember her penn name? Nope.

Rest assured, authors out there, it is not an easy feat to take your real name, run through the internet and come up with your pseudonym or body of work. I was to the point of assigning the task to Susie when GiGi walked into CiCi's and saved me some work.

Coincidentally, at the table behind us was GiGi's son's teacher and family, and two tables over was another family from my school. I knew everyone! It was a rare but cool moment.
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For those of you who rushed out to hear Eva sing, I apologize. College, work and a serious round of diabetic complications kept her from performing. Maybe she'll get another offer...Easter tunes anyone?
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If you've been wondering what's happening with my writing class, get in line and have your ticket punched. I am still waiting for the curriculum materials to arrive. I have written the autobiographical letter, but in the interest of maintaining a smidge of anonymity here, I probably won't post it. But I will post the second half just as soon as I find out what it is. Tell me though, should I give my instructor/mentor the address to the blog? Does he need to know me that well? Will he be frightened away if he is exposed to the inner workings of my mind? Sound off and give me some advice.

Coming Soon...

For Valentine's Day, you are in for a real treat. My sister, Eva, has her first paying singing gig! Normally she slings coffee at the Starbuck's but her store manager asked her to sing karaoke in the flower tent.

So if you're in the neighborhood of Beltway 8 and West Rd. on February 13 and 14, stop in and get your honey some flowers, balloons, candy and stuffed animal. And get yourself and earful of "Eva Sings Love Songs".

Danger, Will Robinson!

I was at my local Starbuck's today and was extra excited to see they were doing samples.

"What are we tasting today?" I asked MushiMushi behind the counter. (I don't know why I bother because she never knows.)

"I don't know. I think hot chocolate." Well to be fair to MushiMushi, most of their drinks come covered in whipped cream, so I guess they do sort of look alike. But still, she works there, you'd think she'd know what she was giving away for free. (Ms. Trisa loves free!)

So I take the last sample, and take a not so tentative swig, since I remembered my sister talking about premium hot chocolates coming out today. Mmmmm....premium....chocolate...with whipped cream....

AND HOT PEPPER???

I gasped as MushiMushi says, "It's hot pepper hot."

No fooling? We're not talking spicy. (Which for some reason Starbuck's equates with Mexican hot chocolate, but I never had anything Mexican that tasted like that.) It was cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, burn your tonsils off hot.

What an evil thing to do to poor hot chocolate.

Starbucks, I thought, well hoped actually, that you'd learned after your foray into the Mayan culture and tried to serve us chocolate mud. Remember the Chantico anyone? N-A-S-T-Y. But no. Now you've tried to one up Mexican and that's just not gonna fly. I suggest the taster from Starbuck's hop on over to Food Town and get some Abuelita's and find out what Mexican hot chocolate really tastes like.

What are they gonna try next? Jalapeno cream filled Oreos? May God save us all.

Big band grunge?

My mother and I were at Olive Garden last weekend. I was chatting away, totally ignoring the banal noise pollution that passes as music at OG, when Mom shushed me, "Listen!"

So I tuned in. It sounded like Frank Sinatra or Harry Connick, Jr. I was excited to realize it was actually in English since they'd been going through an Italian musical phase. And then I noticed something vaguely familiar.

Hello. (In a big band jazzy finger snapping way.....You know like Dean Martin.) Hello. Hello.

What the hell song is this? I asked myself. Running the standards through my head, trying to think of one that matched, to no avail.

Hello. (It just kept going) Hello.

OH MY GOD IT'S FUCKING NIRVANA!!

Kurt Cobain was surely rolling in his grave cuz somebody done ripped off his song and Olive Gardenized it!

I looked and Mom and grinned, even the waitress laughed out loud when I said, "Hey, it's educational. You can understand the lyrics."

Properly enunciated, finger snapping, happy, jazzy Nirvana? What's wrong with this picture?

Back to school

I got my first writing assignment today...well the first half of it anyway. I have to write an autobiographic letter to my instructor to sort of break the ice and enable us to get to know each other. Once my books arrive, I'll get the second half of the assignment.

Whoo hoo! Trisa is back in school!

For those of you who may be interested, I'll post my assignments. It's one way to make sure I'm blogging while taking this course. =-)

Oh, and I promise to pay more attention to the Reading Room, with bloglet and more updates, so please keep stopping by.