It's a girl!!

Not that it's a surprise or anything, cuz the cousin and his wife have known forever and we've known the name now for a couple of months...but it's a girl!! Yes, dear readers, goodness shines on our family and on little Katydid.

I think I shall go off in search of pink margaritas. Care to join me?

Great Expectations

Having attended two funerals in 6 months, I find myself totally disenchanted with the funeral industry. Maybe I just expect too damn much after watching "Six Feet Under" for 5 years.

At my cousin's funeral, there was no kind, caring brother figure to help us with our grief, nor were we allowed the luxury of a last goodbye. Instead, we were ushered like cattle, past the casket and out the doors. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Okay, so maybe we were behind schedule and just needed to get the show on the road. Nope. You see, we didn't have a funeral procession. No endless stream of cars, with lights on and a police escort to make sure we arrived en masse at the grave site. We were given a 3 hour lunch break and were told to meet up at the cemetery.

Odd? You betcha. The Old Masonic Cemetery, where my cousin was laid to rest next to my grandparents overlooking the lake, is in Chappel Hill, Texas. That's an hour away on a freeway that is currently under construction. Mid-afternoon. On a Friday. I hadn't been there in 8 years, needless to say, I missed the turn and was well on my way to Washington on the Brazos.

It boggles the mind how one can get the Time Crunch lunch at 12:30 (served in 15 minutes or it's free!) and still be late 2 1/2 hours later, but I have done it.

The family held back the start of the service since neither myself nor my cousin's ex-wife had arrived yet. Twenty minutes later, I ran into my uncle's ex-wife, who had been sent to find us.

So we're all assembled, ready for some appropriate, thought provoking scripture or poem and the cult leader who runs my aunt's church, steps up, reading from the burial manual, lots of disjointed phrases. We left not spiritually moved, but damned confused and pissed that we'd driven so far for nothing.

And then I noticed the lay out.

The funeral director had laid the astroturf carpet across my grandparent's graves. People were standing on top of my grandparents! (Not sure about you guys, but I was taught you NEVER walk on a grave). So we've disrespected not only my cousin, but also my grandparents.

I took a private moment to pluck three flowers from the spray of yellow roses I bought ($107!!), laid one on the casket and two across my grandparents' headstone. Others followed suit, plucking my arrangement bare. The children even picked out the greenery!

I had thought we'd get a dignified, service. One like I saw on TV, with the staff caring and considerate of our needs in such a difficult time. I got a Nazi task master.

Even at the graveside he urged us to leave. "There's just 2 hours til dark, and I've got to get him in the ground."

Fisher and Sons should definitely open a franchise.

Second chances?

Guess what I did the first Monday of the new year? I went on a date!! Yes, I know you guys were losing faith in me and my lovely dating stories. I have sorely neglected the "dating mis/adventures" part of my blog; thank you for hanging in there.

A while back I mentioned that I had gone to dinner with a guy for pancakes, but I really didn't go into detail. Well, he had read the blog and while things just didn't work out, he didn't deserve to be blogged.

Lately, we'd been chatting and discovered we had vacation at the same time and made plans to get together for a movie. What the hell, I thought. Puppy deserves a second chance. Our date was set for New Year's day, after he got home from church.

As you loyal readers know, there was a death in the family, and I was forced to reschedule. (Looking back, I think God was saying, "Don't do it..." But do I listen?)

So we met at the theater to see "The Family Stone", which I'd heard was absolutely hysterical. Just what the doctor ordered for my grieving self, a nice romantic comedy.

With a terminally ill Diane Keaton.

Yep...she had breast cancer and this was her last Christmas with the family. (This hit a little close to home, and I did cry, but not over the movie.)

Afterwards, I suggested we go out for frosty beverages, cuz my spirits needed a little lifting. "Well, I already ate before I came," he tells me. (Mind you, we met for a 4:30 matinee).

But I convinced him to accompany me to Chili's, where I had a fair margarita, good chicken strips and a not so shabby back rub. (Thanks, Puppy.)

But I dunno....it just didn't seem right that he tried to kiss me in the parking lot. My cousin had just been murdered; I was looking for a little distraction and polite conversation, not a sexual encounter.

"Puppy, I need you to slow down," I told him. And he did. He came to grinding halt number 2.

After the first date, you see, we did dinner and a movie and he got all happy hands with me in the dark. I was freaked out; I'd known him all of 2 1/2 hours. And he tried to kiss me, which wasn't well received after damn near being felt up at the theater.

But it gets better. We had plans the next day to go out again. This is what my answering machine said,

"Trisa....uh.....well....uh....this is Puppy. Well....uh....you see....I'm at my sister's....cuz there's this family thing...and I forgot about it....uh....and...uh....I don't know when I'm gonna get home....uh....but....uh....I'll call you."

Me thinks the boy does not take kindly to any sort of rejection, be it minor or major league.

Technical difficulties (please do not adjust your set)

Sorry for the run on appearance of today's post. I couldn't get blogger to start new paragraphs. As soon as I can figure out the kinks, I promise to edit Life Goes On.
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Normally, I would delete this posting, since the problems have been solved, but I got some nice comments that I wanted to keep.

Life goes on

A lot's happened since the holidays started and my original intention was to update you all on New Year's, but my cousin got killed and my heart just hasn't been into blogging, web surfing and chatting. But life goes on and so it's time for me to get into the groove and let you all know about the holidays.

While doing a little shopping, I found a set of 12 inch talking comedian dolls from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, my brother's favorite show in the world. I am now hosting Jeff Foxworthy and Ron White as they await shipment to California. For some reason, the store did not have Larry the Cable Guy and now I am on a mission to complete the trio. My brother, believe it or not, wants to decorate his living room in a Blue Collar Comedy Tour theme. You know, you might be a redneck if your brother decorates his house with comedian action figures.

Speaking of my brother, through the miracle of myspace, he has been reunited with Roxy, who hasn't seen her dad in about 5 years. Many thanks to my step-neice and nephew for nagging him into doing the right thing!

My uncle's sister visited from Pennsylvania, and she kept putting the moves on Hippie. She's almost 70, still thin, and has a perpetual Joker's smile. She's also extremely competitive, put together a dozen puzzles during her stay, and kept kicking my ass in Scrabble.

My sister's boyfriend, whom we affectionately call Spiderman because of his uncanny resemblance to Toby Maguire, made his first housecall to meet my brother's second daughter Moxie, who has recently become a woman. She went from stinky, sweaty, gap toothed tomboy to quiet, prissy, purse weilding young lady in the blink of an eye. (She and Roxy could be twins, well, except they have different mommas, different yese and are 3 years apart in age.) Moxie's mom is apparently intimidated by the increased levels of estrogen, and moved the youngest child into her bedroom, giving Moxie a space of her own.

My cousin Mark took his brother and I aside at Christmas dinner and told us that this was his last Christmas to spend with the family. (Ironic, isn't it?) He had the misfortune of having some not so nice words immortalized on audio tape, which resulted in harassment charges from the ex-girlfriend and revocation of his probation. He fully expected to be arrested and sent away for 10 years.

My aunt led the children in an impromptu, a capella sing along underneath the Christmas tree, including the Christmas classics "Jingle Bells", "Away in a Manger", and "Amazing Grace"? JR performed his bit from the church's Christmas play, "Jesus was in the Old Testament." (Have I ever mentioned that I think my family is part of a fundamentalist cult? No Kool-aid for me, thanks.)

And then came New Year's Day, which pretty much knocked the wind out of our collective sails. My uncle has now buried 2 of his children. JR is without a dad. His mostly absentee mom is the sole parent. (Is it even possible to battle her for custody?)

Yet another holiday has become a shitty reminder of something bad instead of a joyous celebration. My grandmother was buried the day before Thanksgiving. Two years later, my grandfather was buried a week before Christmas. A few years ago, one of my students was killed in a car accident on December 14. He was only 3. The day of his funeral, my house was burglarized. And now, as we ring in each new year, we can remember murder.

Kitkat, has been arrested and is still in jail despite a measley 30 thousand dollar bond. She will be arraigned in a couple of weeks, and the family will be in attendance. My sister wants to personally hear the bitch admit she did it. I'll probably skip that one and show up for the sentencing. I do want to hear, "Guilty as charged. Lock her up and throw away the key." I don't think she'll be up for the death penalty though because I don't think she'll get murder 1.

JR is now back in school, with a lot of support from his teacher, principal, counselor and of course Aunt Trisa who tutors on Thursday nights.

I'm back to work and have been accepted into the writing program. Long Ridge feels I have the potential to write for publication! My friend Brandy nominated me for a Bloggie. Toe Boy has decided that Susie, Heather and I can handle his official internet sites, yahoo groups, etc.

I also am planning to expand my blogging efforts. I've often wondered just how much do I read in a year's time. So coming soon, I'll have a separate blog where you can see what I've been reading and my own personal reviews. I hope you'll stop by the reading room, and continue to check out all my Nasty Little Thoughts.

In Memoriam

My cousin was killed yesterday. He was 26. While I didn't always see eye to eye with him, had no patience for the decisions he made and am jealous as hell that he has such a wonderful child, he didn't deserve to have his life taken away.

While ringing in the new year, he got into an arguement. He was stabbed in the heart and left to bleed out in the street. He had neither his cell phone nor his wallet and had to be identified through fingerprints.

The family convened at his parents today, enjoying in true family fashion an impromptu family reunion. We shared stories of happier times while we wondered about the impact this will have on his son's life. Yes, the negative influence is gone and the child will be spared watching his dad go to prison, but this 5 year old boy will never have his daddy to hug him again.

I have given my cousin a lot of hell here on Nasty Little Thoughts and felt it necessary to tell the positive just this once. And you can check out my neice Roxy's reaction too.

He had faith and at one time had been "on fire for God." He could fix anything and revived my transportation on many occasions. He loved laughter, music and fast cars. He appreciated the finer things in life. He was handsome and charming. He had friends that have proven loyal and true. And above all else, he loved his family, especially his son.

We'll miss you, Mark.

12-23-1979 to 1-1-2006