Funeral rights?
When I was in college I lived with my grandparents. At some point my grandfather took me a walk. "I want to show you something," he said as we headed around the block.
We ended up at the local funeral home which was less than 2 blocks away. He introduced me to the funeral director with these words, "When the time comes, don't worry; everything's already planned and paid for. He knows what I want and will take care of everything. All that needs to be done is to call the VFW." My grandfather was so prepared for the inevitable that he had footstones already engraved for him and my grandmother. As I recall, they lived on the front porch for many years.
My grandfather, like so many of his generation, was a WWII veteran. Many times the family has accompanied him to reunions of the 755 Tank Batallion. We've heard the stories of him almost seeing Pompei (he chose not to go!!), being so drunk he rolled up the hills in Italy and intimidating POW's with a lion (ok, it was just a lion cub and it really belonged to the French Foreign Legion, but you should see the pictures!) He did tours in Africa and Italy serving as a radio operator before returning stateside and starting the family.
About 8 years ago, my grandfather died suddenly, just 8 days before Christmas. My father is the oldest of 3, but in recent years wasn't too involved in family affairs, so my aunt shouldered the burden of burying their father.
I'm the eldest of the grandchildren and tried to step in to pick up some slack for my dad. I told her about my walk with Grandpa and how everything was taken care of. I went with her as she confirmed some arrangements and made some new ones. I was with her when she met with the pastor to plan the service and the programs. And I was with her when we found out my grandfather would NOT be getting a 21 gun salute.
"But all we're supposed to do is call the VFW. That's what Grandpa said. He's a member and he gets the flag, taps and a 21 gun salute."
Hippie tried to explain, "There isn't an honor guard available. They've tried in 3 cities. There's noone to do the military rites."
My grandfather, who risked his life to protect and defend this and other countries, was denied the honor and respect of his military funeral. I was then and still am appalled.
I was told to cut the VFW some slack and to be understanding, "It's Christmas."
"I'm sorry Grandpa died at an inconvenient time!" was my reply.
This week, I was at the funeral for another WWII veteran, the grandfather of my cousins and Hippie's father-in-law. Remembering how the Lopez family had attended my grandparent's funerals, I made sure to go to pay my respects, even though I haven't seen them in about 12 years.
I was barely breathing as the 21 gun salute rang out and was tearing up when Taps was played. Hippie was crying freely. For the 2 of us, it was a double ceremony. We were paying tribute not only to Mr. Lopez, who was a disabled veteran, but also to my grandfather.
After Taps, the minister came up and led the large assembly in prayer and thanked everyone for coming. Then a director of the VA National Cemetery of Houston took the podium, "It's not that I'm trying to rush you folks, or anything, but we've got 2 other funerals planned for today."
WHAT?
Noone had yet paid final respects to Mr. Lopez or expressed condolences to the family. And I'm pretty sure his wife of 61 years wanted a final moment with her husband.
Being the kind of family we are, we ignored Mr. VA and did our thing. Some of us grieved and some of us comforted.
For about 5 minutes, until Mr. VA again announced, "We have 2 other services scheduled for the commitment cue. The military service took longer than we expected. So if you could all move along..."
HUH?
Who better than the VA National Cemetery to know the time constraints of a military service? If time is such an issue, why is there only one area to perform the service? Why were 3 services scheduled so closely together? What about showing honor and respect to the deceased and their grieving families?
We ended up at the local funeral home which was less than 2 blocks away. He introduced me to the funeral director with these words, "When the time comes, don't worry; everything's already planned and paid for. He knows what I want and will take care of everything. All that needs to be done is to call the VFW." My grandfather was so prepared for the inevitable that he had footstones already engraved for him and my grandmother. As I recall, they lived on the front porch for many years.
My grandfather, like so many of his generation, was a WWII veteran. Many times the family has accompanied him to reunions of the 755 Tank Batallion. We've heard the stories of him almost seeing Pompei (he chose not to go!!), being so drunk he rolled up the hills in Italy and intimidating POW's with a lion (ok, it was just a lion cub and it really belonged to the French Foreign Legion, but you should see the pictures!) He did tours in Africa and Italy serving as a radio operator before returning stateside and starting the family.
About 8 years ago, my grandfather died suddenly, just 8 days before Christmas. My father is the oldest of 3, but in recent years wasn't too involved in family affairs, so my aunt shouldered the burden of burying their father.
I'm the eldest of the grandchildren and tried to step in to pick up some slack for my dad. I told her about my walk with Grandpa and how everything was taken care of. I went with her as she confirmed some arrangements and made some new ones. I was with her when she met with the pastor to plan the service and the programs. And I was with her when we found out my grandfather would NOT be getting a 21 gun salute.
"But all we're supposed to do is call the VFW. That's what Grandpa said. He's a member and he gets the flag, taps and a 21 gun salute."
Hippie tried to explain, "There isn't an honor guard available. They've tried in 3 cities. There's noone to do the military rites."
My grandfather, who risked his life to protect and defend this and other countries, was denied the honor and respect of his military funeral. I was then and still am appalled.
I was told to cut the VFW some slack and to be understanding, "It's Christmas."
"I'm sorry Grandpa died at an inconvenient time!" was my reply.
This week, I was at the funeral for another WWII veteran, the grandfather of my cousins and Hippie's father-in-law. Remembering how the Lopez family had attended my grandparent's funerals, I made sure to go to pay my respects, even though I haven't seen them in about 12 years.
I was barely breathing as the 21 gun salute rang out and was tearing up when Taps was played. Hippie was crying freely. For the 2 of us, it was a double ceremony. We were paying tribute not only to Mr. Lopez, who was a disabled veteran, but also to my grandfather.
After Taps, the minister came up and led the large assembly in prayer and thanked everyone for coming. Then a director of the VA National Cemetery of Houston took the podium, "It's not that I'm trying to rush you folks, or anything, but we've got 2 other funerals planned for today."
WHAT?
Noone had yet paid final respects to Mr. Lopez or expressed condolences to the family. And I'm pretty sure his wife of 61 years wanted a final moment with her husband.
Being the kind of family we are, we ignored Mr. VA and did our thing. Some of us grieved and some of us comforted.
For about 5 minutes, until Mr. VA again announced, "We have 2 other services scheduled for the commitment cue. The military service took longer than we expected. So if you could all move along..."
HUH?
Who better than the VA National Cemetery to know the time constraints of a military service? If time is such an issue, why is there only one area to perform the service? Why were 3 services scheduled so closely together? What about showing honor and respect to the deceased and their grieving families?
posted by TrisaTx at
8:34 PM
2 Comments:
I am a millitary member. I have been so since 1998. I am not a Vetran. But I knew someone who was. He is no longer with us, so I will call him by name. Michael Dowell. Possibly one of the greatest men I have ever known. I loved him like a brother and mourn his passing every day. He was an honorable warrior. I won't go into to much detail about his passing here, it is a long and painfull tale I prefer not to share, but a portion of it is very relevent here.
He had developed cancer, and was being seen by the VA hospital in Dallas. After surgery he had Permanent Dibilitating Nerve Damage. There where many days he had to be put on morphine for the pain. It was durring this time that the VA lost/misfiled/ignored/just plain fucked up his paperwork. He lost all VA benefits for almost three months. He had a newborn baby and a working wife. He himself could not get a job due to his condition. So he had a choice, food for his family or his medication. The VA gave him the political two step as he lays in bed paralyzed with pain.
Our Fighting soldiers are not getting the respect they deserve. and moron's like THIS...
http://www.forsakethetroops.net/
Please. If you are reading this, do something. Donate money. Give a blanker. Write your senetor. I'm not sure what, I don't have the answers. I wish to god i did.
-Nuckles
By
Anonymous, at 1:15 AM
I am disgusted and appalled. But I can't say that I am surprised. The VA is the worst organization. My dad is a Vietnam vet, not drafted, but enlisted of his own accord, a Black Beret Airborne Army Ranger who served 3 tours of duty, and who has not had access to a single "benefit" since he left the service.
I will make sure that when his time comes, this mockery of a government pays him the respects he deserves or there will be hell to pay.
By
Bran, at 6:28 AM
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