On par?

My fabulous new dating service (I can't believe I was able to say that with a straight face) introduced me to someone new a while back--Mr. Golf Pro, whom I'll just call Birdie. Our communications had been sporadic since Birdie had to go out of town for training on his new job, a cushy corporate gig that involves teaching the game of golf with the aid of virtual equipment and tons of wires. But once he got back in town he decided he'd like to take me out for drinks or to get dinner.

As most of you know, I date almost exclusively, people that I've met online, and generally, before I think about meeting someone in person, I have a few chats and phone conversations with him. But Birdie wasn't having any of that and wanted to jump right to the chase and meet sight unseen, which is quite odd, let me tell you. But we spoke a couple of times briefly and played phone tag for a couple of days and he seemed normal enough, so I thought, 'what the hell' and made Saturday night plans to meet my first golf pro.

I got to choose the restaurant, so I decided on a good one near my house so that he'd have to do the travelling and I could make a quick exit home if necessary. Of course, with the restaurant being practically across the street from me, I was a little early and waited out front for the man whose only description I had was "6 foot 3 and I'm no Brad Pitt". I hadn't given him much of a personal description either, but I did tell him what I'd be wearing so the hunt wouldn't be so difficult. (Although I was the only single lady standing out in front of the restaurant, and that in itself was a pretty big clue.)

We went to the bar to wait for our table and he asked me if I wanted a drink (not if I wanted something to drink mind you) and I said I'd like a bellini.

"A what?"

"I'm not sure what all's in it," I told him, " but it tastes like peaches."

"I guess that's alcoholic then?"

Ummmmm.....yep, I answered.

"I'll have a Bud Light then."

By the time my drink arrived, our table was ready and Birdie was all bent out of shape that he had to settle up at the bar and couldn't transfer our bar tab to the ticket at our table. He was gentleman enough to pull out my chair for me (which I think was another first for me, cuz I really know how to pick them.)

After a long time spent reading the menu and making small chit chat, he decided on the lasagna (the next to cheapest item on the menu) which didn't leave me many options to choose from, according to the etiquette I was taught that dictates never choosing something more expensive than the person paying the bill. Did I want spaghetti or lasagna? Hmmmmm.....

As we were eating our salads, Birdie shared a little about himself, how he hates his job as a golf pro, couldn't bear to leave his dog behind when he moved from California, and has a daughter in Michigan with only 40 more child support payments. Yes, he really said that. Let me tell you guys, that when dating a woman whose career is children, it's always a great idea to let her know how little you care for your own. Is Birdie planning to visit his daughter on his vacation? Nope. He's gonna go back to Cali and visit the friends he and his dog had at his last job.

After agreeing with him that no, he really couldn't leave the dog behind, I tried to take charge of the conversation.

"You're the first person from the service who's agreed to meet sight unseen."

"Yeah, well, I don't have a picture either."

My profile on the service says that I have chose a later date for picture viewing, not that I don't have one, so I clarified the point by saying, "I have a picture; I just wait until you ask to see it."

He looked at me with Speed Racer eyes and I continued, "It helps me to judge how shallow someone is." Perhaps this was a faux pas? If so I really don't care because it was the truth. If Birdie had wanted to see me before our date, all he had to do was ask to view the picture.

Birdie sucked down his plate of lasagna as if he hadn't eaten in a week and sat watching me eat my spaghetti. No he didn't want to taste any of it. No he didn't want to try the bellini. But just as soon as the waiter picked up my plate Birdie knew what he wanted to do.

He slapped his palms against the table top and stated, "I need to head home to walk my dog."

Uhhhh....okay. Now I have been on dates that weren't going too well, and with the exception of Hajit (remember him? Mr. My Name Is Not Sam?) both my date and I have always acted with dignity and decorum. But Birdie was sadly lacking in the decorum department.

A mere 55 minutes after arriving at the restaurant, we were heading to our separate cars when he called out, "Maybe we can do this again sometime."

But then again, maybe not.