Exorcist: Part Deux
After my "trip into the bowels of hell" (thank you Ruben for the wonderful image) as I watched the Dominion a couple of weeks ago, I was assured by several people that I just had to see Exorcist: The Beginning, the other version of the movie, the one the studios actually endorsed. I absolutely refused to waste any more money on this endeavor and managed to get a copy from someone who works with my mom.
Let me go on record as stating that, yes The Beginning is better than Dominion. But come on, folks, if you've seen Dominion, you know it doesn't take much to improve upon it. I'd say watching water boil, doing one's taxes and even getting a little Martha Stewart and making a mosaic out of someone else's toenail clippings would be better than Dominion.
Just how much better is The Beginning? There was no mysterious Philippino character. The natives didn't speak on camera, so you didn't long for English subtitles. The exorcism did include the use of holy water. And I myself didn't spend a dime to see it!!
Other than that though, it pretty much sucked ass. So here are the reasons why you should not see Exorcist: The Beginning:
1. No Max Von Sydow. Max is still not with us and neither should this movie be. I think congress should do something useful and pass legislation prohibiting any Exorcist movies that do not star Max Von Sydow.
2. No Linda Blair. Again, there's a girl with wavy brown hair, and yes, this time she is posessed, but the symbolism was too much. Over and over we see a young girl (reminiscant of Linda Blair) skipping and waving happily into the freshly falling snow. Does Merrin save her? Nope, she dies. Then the female doctor Sarah, in a surprise twist (lolol) turns out to house the demon instead of Joseph...or is it James? the one who didn't get eaten by the hyenas that jumped out of the well. Anyway...does Merrin save her? From the posession yes. But her head bleeds out in some bizarre form of ebola and she dies. Strike 2 for Fr. Merrin. All this leads to his eventual encounter with Reagan, just another in a string of dark, wavy haired women in his life....
3. Vatican conspiracy. Are you ready for this one? The vatican ordered a Byzantine church built on the exact spot where Lucifer fell when he was cast out of Heaven. (How this spot was determined, I have no idea.) Needless to say, the place definitely has a negative atmosphere.
Good and evil went to war and everyone associated with the church was killed except for 2 priests.
4. Problem is, these "priests" weren't dressed as priests. They wore the shield of the Knights Templar, which supposedly has Masonic ties, and yet that's a whole conspiracy theory left untouched in this movie.
5. British military in shorts. Yep, I still think grown men look damned silly wearing shorts, knee socks and Sunday go to meeting shoes.
6. Butterfly fetish. The British major had a severe one. And at the climatic moment right before he blows his brains out, all the pinned specimins came back to life and were flapping their wings, yet unable to fly away from their glass display boxes. I think this was more symbolism, pointing to man's inability to free himself from evil.
7. When Merrin enters the church it has been defiled and the crucifix is hanging upside down. It stays that way throughout the movie. HUH? Seems a little bit much like tempting fate to leave it upside down. Why didn't one of the 2 priests fix it or at least remove it??
Renny Harlin directed this time around. And frankly, he should have known better. In the special features on the dvd, he tells of how challenging it was to make the movie with a cast on his leg. Seems he was hit by a taxi and broke his leg in Rome.
Now if that aint God's way of saying not to make such a flaming pile of shit, then I just don't recognize flaming piles of shit. These are modern times, He's not always going to address us with burning bushes. Sometimes, you get run down by a taxi cab just cuz the Almighty needs to get your attention.
Let me go on record as stating that, yes The Beginning is better than Dominion. But come on, folks, if you've seen Dominion, you know it doesn't take much to improve upon it. I'd say watching water boil, doing one's taxes and even getting a little Martha Stewart and making a mosaic out of someone else's toenail clippings would be better than Dominion.
Just how much better is The Beginning? There was no mysterious Philippino character. The natives didn't speak on camera, so you didn't long for English subtitles. The exorcism did include the use of holy water. And I myself didn't spend a dime to see it!!
Other than that though, it pretty much sucked ass. So here are the reasons why you should not see Exorcist: The Beginning:
1. No Max Von Sydow. Max is still not with us and neither should this movie be. I think congress should do something useful and pass legislation prohibiting any Exorcist movies that do not star Max Von Sydow.
2. No Linda Blair. Again, there's a girl with wavy brown hair, and yes, this time she is posessed, but the symbolism was too much. Over and over we see a young girl (reminiscant of Linda Blair) skipping and waving happily into the freshly falling snow. Does Merrin save her? Nope, she dies. Then the female doctor Sarah, in a surprise twist (lolol) turns out to house the demon instead of Joseph...or is it James? the one who didn't get eaten by the hyenas that jumped out of the well. Anyway...does Merrin save her? From the posession yes. But her head bleeds out in some bizarre form of ebola and she dies. Strike 2 for Fr. Merrin. All this leads to his eventual encounter with Reagan, just another in a string of dark, wavy haired women in his life....
3. Vatican conspiracy. Are you ready for this one? The vatican ordered a Byzantine church built on the exact spot where Lucifer fell when he was cast out of Heaven. (How this spot was determined, I have no idea.) Needless to say, the place definitely has a negative atmosphere.
Good and evil went to war and everyone associated with the church was killed except for 2 priests.
4. Problem is, these "priests" weren't dressed as priests. They wore the shield of the Knights Templar, which supposedly has Masonic ties, and yet that's a whole conspiracy theory left untouched in this movie.
5. British military in shorts. Yep, I still think grown men look damned silly wearing shorts, knee socks and Sunday go to meeting shoes.
6. Butterfly fetish. The British major had a severe one. And at the climatic moment right before he blows his brains out, all the pinned specimins came back to life and were flapping their wings, yet unable to fly away from their glass display boxes. I think this was more symbolism, pointing to man's inability to free himself from evil.
7. When Merrin enters the church it has been defiled and the crucifix is hanging upside down. It stays that way throughout the movie. HUH? Seems a little bit much like tempting fate to leave it upside down. Why didn't one of the 2 priests fix it or at least remove it??
Renny Harlin directed this time around. And frankly, he should have known better. In the special features on the dvd, he tells of how challenging it was to make the movie with a cast on his leg. Seems he was hit by a taxi and broke his leg in Rome.
Now if that aint God's way of saying not to make such a flaming pile of shit, then I just don't recognize flaming piles of shit. These are modern times, He's not always going to address us with burning bushes. Sometimes, you get run down by a taxi cab just cuz the Almighty needs to get your attention.
posted by TrisaTx at
7:51 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home