Checking In

I stopped by today for the first time in over a year. All of a sudden I have a google account. Who knew? Took a bit of finessing to get back in. But I was encouraged to see I am still getting traffic. So thanks to whoever is continuing to stop by. I may even begin to post anew.

I Need YOU....

To go sign this petition. If I don't get my weekly captain fix, I'll get cranky. And you all know what I'm like when I'm cranky. So (cue cheesy Faberge shampoo commercial music....damn am I dating myself or what??) Go tell your friends and they'll tell their friends and they'll tell their friends too!

God will then smile upon the earth, surveying Tuesday night's TV lineup, and He will smile upon seeing "Deadliest Catch", and He will declare that it is good.

Imitation Catch

There has been a drought on the Discovery Channel, a black hole of programming that has spanned the summer months, and that I hope has now come to an end. You see, somewhere in TV land is an executive who approved the decision to replace "Deadliest Catch" with "Swords:Life on the Line".

Mr. Executive, this blog's for you.

"Swords" is patterned after (blatantly rips off "Deadliest Catch".) Only the boats are smaller, they bring in one fish at a time (on the off chance the lines aren't tangled and sharks don't eat the fish), and the captains, well, they seem to be lacking in the TV personality department. Which is fine when they're fishing but not so great when they're on my TV.

The success of DC was not formulaic. You can't pull out boat B, insert Captain D and continue to have the show everyone's crazy for. It's the interplay of the captains to whom the viewers have pledged allegiance and the boats we root for. Kind of reminds me of knights at the Renaissance Festival. Take away one element (boat, crew, captain) and the whole shebang goes awry.

"Swords" just isn't "Deadliest Catch." (And to whoever put the pun in the title....raspberries to you. If someone hasn't caught on yet, Swords follows long-liners....hence "life on the line").

At first I dismissed the show altogether, sight unseen. But after an interminable absence of DC, I gave in and watched the marathon. (Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...) It was boring. At first I was wondering...That kinda looks like the girl from Perfect Storm....The captain of the Hanna Boden....Who played her? Amy Irving? No, that other actress.....Oh yeah, the owner of the Hanna Boden ripped off Johnathan when he tried to buy the boat. Why would you write a contract on a napkin anyway?...Oh well, God don't like ugly....She's captaining a boat whose previous captain died on board? Ewwww! Oh I remember....Mary Elizabeth Mastrontonio!!!!

As you can see, the action did not hold my interest.

Then there's the dirty rotten scoundrel captain. Who follows people and steals their fishing. Of course he tore his boat to hell by the end of the season. The idiot. And to keep things lively, he robbed his crew blind!!! I can do basic math, and if boat A brings in 24000 pounds and pays its crew $1800 a piece, how come DRS brought in 50000 pounds and his guys got $800????? MUTINY!

The memorial to the crew of the Andrea Gail was touching. No joking about that, I was teary eyed and covered in goose bumps.

And then the final episode played out, with a sad little captain's wager, that not all the captains were in on. Seems nobody wants to play with DRS. (Time to spin the wheel and buy a clue.)

The best part of the experience, in all honesty, was watching "Deadliest Catch" come on after the final credits rolled.

Please, Mr. Executive, let the rumors of DC not airing be lies. Beseechingly I've tried to get info, but someone's buttoned up his lips and thrown away the key...or the twitter account anyway. In the 80's Coca-Cola had to eat crow and admit that new coke sucked. It was so bad as I recall that I had to drink Pepsi. (I live in the south. We are not Pepsi people.) They brought back the original. Please follow suit. Give your viewers "Deadliest Catch" and not a cheap, counterfeit imitation. I really do not want to turn to "Whale Wars" for my boating needs. But I will if I have to.

I can understand your desire to try to replicate success. But when it comes to copying "Deadliest Catch", no one says it better than Nancy Reagan, "Just say no."

An interesting observation and some updates

I've gotten in the habit of lunching with my sister at a local sushi place once a week. No, I don't eat sushi, but at lunchtime they have bento box specials which are cheap, yummy and most importantly NOT raw.

One of the items in the bento box is miso soup. I don't like miso, which is made from soy. And if a hot steaming bowl of soy broth isn't tempting enough for you, they add chunks of tofu. Blehk!

Have you ever stared into a bowl of miso soup and watched it swirl all on its own? If you look closely, and if you can look at some conveniently placed Japanese wall art, the miso settles into the design of the Japanese countryside. Snow covered mountains and everything. As with most things, I have a theory on this phenomenon.

Maybe, just maybe miso soup is primordial soup, the stuff from which all life began, and each miso induced landscape contains it's own civilization.
******************************************************************************

Okay, now down to business:

Metro is on marriage number two. His wife sings in a band and calls him their "manager, roadie and stylist". I kid you not.

The EX has moved to the NE side of town in a ridiculously large house and is still with PsychoBitch. He got a big time promotion/new job a while back, so now he's keeping up with the Joneses.

Willis and I see each other every few months or so. He's looking for a job again and having baby's momma issues.

Mad Hatter (aka Red Headed Stepchild of Fate) is back from his duties with the Airforce. He is married and though living in town, is sadly out of touch=-(

Mr. 1956 (shudder) managed to find me the very first day I signed up on twitter. Now that he's "following" me, I tend not to be a big "tweeter".
*********************************************************************************

During my prolonged absence from the blogosphere, I have had several personal losses. So I'm taking the time now to remember those friends and family that are no longer with us.

Mark T. Eppley--Thanks for all your mechanic expertise. I'll do anything I can for Junior.
Paul A. Gonzales--Hey, Big Poppa P! You still need to help me find the right someone.
Rischelle M. Martinez--Your suffering is over. No doubt you got your wings.
Delmer L. "Sonny" Tidwell--Hey, Dad. It's been nearly a year and I still can't do all the tricks with the Directv remote.

I love all of you and you are all missed terribly.

Deadliest Addiction

So, I realize I've been absent and haven't updated in a coon's age. Lots has happened, and I promise to update you all eventually. But first things first.

Hi. My name is Trisa. And I am addicted to "Deadliest Catch".

Now can someone, anyone explain why???

Those of you who have read previous posts might remember my tale of nearly drowning in a lake in a thunderstorm as my loving family called out, "We'll pick you up on the way back", and sailed away. Ever since, I have had a dislike? fear? phobia? of boats. Put it simply, I leave them alone and they don't strand me in large bodies of seaweed producing, electric current carrying bodies of water.

So, number one, I don't like boats.

Number two, I don't like crab. In fact, after much watching of the show, I have decided that crab are like the cockroaches of the sea. No matter how many of them get killed each year, the little (okay incredibly large and frightening) bastards just keep breeding. This fear is also explained in a previous post. Crab....icky poo!

What keeps me tuning in?

Well, there is the lure of Alaska itself, I guess. It is the only state rivaling Texas on the badass meter. (Ok, we are NOT going to mention that Texas had to change it's state anthem because we can no longer claim to be the "biggest and grandest". Damned Alaska.) In fact the Discovery channel seems to have gone the extra mile to OD the general public on Alaskan programming. You've got "Deadliest Catch" and all it's previous incarnations, and there was the "Alaska Experiment", and some others that I can't remember. But run a topic check with the keyword "Alaska" on your Directv remote and you'll get a better idea of what I mean.

And I mean nothing against Alaska itself. Seems to be a pretty place. Hey and it's not stiflingly hot there, so you know, the possibility of not having heat and humidity wreck havoc on my hair does in itself have a certain charm. But is that why my remote automatically stops at the slightest glance of safety guard orange??

Could I be living vicariously and getting off on the adrenaline rush each week as death is cheated? Not so much, I think. I am one of the most tightly wound people I know. Risk is not an option. I actually stop my vehicle and look both ways before proceeding through an intersection. I am the designated driver. I do not feel the need for speed. Nor do I wish to throw myself out of a perfectly good airplane or hurtle down the side of a mountain with toothpicks strapped to my feet.

Okay, so it's not the boats, the water, the crab (eeewwwww), the wilderness, or danger that brings me back. What the hell is left??

One word. Captains. Yep. I'm not telling on myself here in front of God and everyone, but I enjoy watching me a little Captain. Possibly, if I told the truth a little Captains. Nope, you won't get it out of me. My lips are sealed. Ziiiippp! And throw away the key. But what gives?

The show doesn't exactly showcase the finer aspects of these guys. There's world class swearing and riotous fit throwing. (And any of you who know me, can appreciate that I'm probably taking notes at this point during an episode. If there's something I pride myself on, it's sharing my innate "Trisa-ness" with the world around me.) There's questionable habits galore. Smoking and chewing (I can only assume that's the only reason anyone would be spitting in either a cup-o-noodles cup or into an empty soda bottle). And they kiss mothers and wives with such mouths?? There's lack of grooming in general...to the extent that any contestant from "Survivor" on day 39 may very well be in better shape than the guys on the Bering Sea. Although this is just a theory and I have not tested it.

But why the attraction? I dated Metro for God's sake. I seem to like my guys highlighted, manscaped, manicured, pedicured, well dressed and sweet smelling. Why would I develop a deep seated need to weekly subject myself to the opposite?

I think the answer is positively primeval. Ever heard the song, "I'm still a guy"? It is an anthem for all those "real" guys out there, the "Bubbas", the one's who've hung onto their mullets, and have rough hands from earning an honest wage.

Just like that the mystery of the Captains (and deckhands to be honest and fair) may be unraveled. Not many places in today's world is a man just that. A man. Centuries of programming for us females has led us to be drawn to the "Man's Man". The rough around the edges, hard worker.

Face it, ladies, Hollywood actors are pretty and all that. But do you think one of those can pluck you out of the ocean before you freeze or drown? Probably not. Can your fave movie crush protect you from Nature gone Bad? Nope I don't think so. Feminism be damned; at the end of the day, we want to feel safe and protected. Davey Crockett may have "killt him a bair when he was only three", but that was TV, people. Metro has his merits, but he's not exactly gonna be able to defend my ass when civilization falls or a lost grizzly comes rampaging through my surburban neighborhood.

That's why I think I tune in again and again and again.... Because for that hour each week, I get to enjoy manly men doing shit you couldn't pay me enough to attempt. (Not only would my hair get messed up, and without a doubt I would break nails, but let's be real, I don't do gore. I threw away my tennis shoes last week in lieu of washing them after they came in contact with a dead koi fish in my uncle's backyard pond.) "Deadliest Catch" sort of renews my faith that not all guys have gone soft. (Not to mention, if they have the know all to fix a leaky boat or fashion a grappling hook out of spare materials, they can probably fix my broken dishwasher and replace the loose boards on the front fence.) Whereas my grandmother was drawn to John Wayne, I am attracted to the boys of the Bering Sea.

And let me stress, that for me, not just any fisherman will do. I don't give a rat's ass about all the boats and guys Discovery channel tried to shove down my throat for shark week. I care not for the sword fishermen. I don't tune into the other channel that has "Hooked on Mondays". I am not hanging out with the local shrimp fishermen of the Gulf. The crab fishermen have a little something extra, a certain je no ce quais. Whatever it is, I like it. And Discovery Channel should give me more of it. Year round.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with some Captains. You see, I found season 4 on DVD at Target. Coupled with my "Time Bandit" book, I am ready to face the off season.

But if any of you, Captains or otherwise, have your own theories on my addiction, please let me know.

As Requested

Hi, Everyone! Much has happened since I last updated. I finally got fed up with corporate living and quit my job. Now I'm an unemployed student planning to enter nursing next year.

Last week I received an anonymous request for more information on Mom's cornea transplants. So far she's had just one eye done because of unrelated health concerns. However, she is much better and is planning the second surgery later this year.

Corneas are received from cadaver donors, and unlike other organs, no matching of tissues or blood types is necessary. The operation itself was about two hours long and performed out-patient. Mom had very little pain and no bad side effects from the procedure, other than a couple of stitches popping, which is very minor in the later stages of healing.

Originally, Mom was myopic/nearsighted, and wore very thick glasses. In the 80's, she was accepted into an experimental study of radiokeratotamy (RK). In this first corrective surgery, her corneas were cut into pie shaped slices, in the hopes that as they healed, her corneas would be reshaped and vision would improve. Each of her corneas was scored with 16 pie pieces, which, despite immediate improvement, turned out to be an overcorrection. Consequently, Mom became extremely presbyopic/farsighted. Also, due to the scarring, she had a lot of haloing and light distortions and also lost depth perception, particularly at night.

Since the transplant, vision in that eye is greatly improved. She uses that eye almost exclusively, and has a dummy lens in her glasses for her "bad" eye. She is looking forward to the upcoming procedure. To have such positive results after being told by the Lighthouse of the Blind that her vision was incorrectable and no reputable surgeon would touch her scarred corneas, Mom is thrilled. To someone facing similar vision issues and legal blindness, she reccommends that you find a specialist and look into the possibility of corneal transplants.

Such procedures are only made possible through the generous donations made by family members facing difficult circumstances. I know firsthand what it takes to be such a donor, as I donated tissues and corneas following my father's death this past December. I urge you to educate yourselves on the donation process and to give it some consideration. You can check out www.lifegift.org for more information.

a little R&R

I'm on vacation! Having a wonderful holiday here in Holiday, Florida. For those of you trying desperately to find that on a map, let me save you some trouble. There's a string of hamlets across the bridge and down the road from Tampa, of which Holiday is one. It's kind of like a bunch of suburbs without the city. Most unusual.

As promised though, I am updating both Nasty Little Thoughts and the Reading Room. Why has it been so long without an update, you might ask.

Life. You know, John Lennon once defined life as what happens when you make other plans. I planned to blog regularly and take my writing class. Instead, I've had to deal with the reality of my mom having corneal transplant surgery and a promotion at work. While the money is nice, I'm now the boss, and my hours suck. I'm working 65 hour weeks, which doesn't leave me time for a social life, school or my writing.

Now, here I sit in Holiday, looking out at the morning glories and banana trees, contemplating a morning dip in the pool. Ain't life grand?

I do have some plans while I'm here. Shopping at the HSN emporium. I might need a second suitcase so I can bring home all the bargains! (It's for employees, but it's good to know people, like my hosts Susie and Craig.)

Greek food in Tarpon Springs, another of the small communities out here. It's what Susie calls the sponge capitol of the world. I dunno about that, but I can certainly appreciate Greek men. The beautiful ones anyway.

The sunset festival on pier 60 (which is on Clearwater Beach.) It looks like there'll be lots of stuff happening there, boats to ride, weirdos to watch, unending photo ops.

And of course, before I head home, I gotta get some pictures of the manatees in the Tampa airport. When I get the pics, you'll understand.

I'll write again soon, so stay tuned.