O-R-E-O

I've identified a new sin: the cruel and unusual punishment of oreos. After thinking long and hard, I can't find another instance of a snack food, being so mistreated (well maybe the extinction of the tan m&m's comes close.) Oreos have been both force fed and shrunken--Oreo double stuff'd, Oreo Big Stuff, and Mini Oreos. They've been poisoned and flavored with mint, coffee, peanut butter and chocolate creams. They've been defaced with multi-colored fillings. They've been mutated for 100 Calorie Packs and Oreo O's cereal. The victim of such cruel abuse, the oreo has developed dissociative tendencies and has spawned Golden Oreos and Uh-oh Oreos. Traditionally oreos have been ripped limb from limp, having their guts eaten first; they've suffered the indignity of being drowned in milk. But these were sacrifices that oreos were willing to make, bringing enjoyment to the masses as nature's most perfect food.Things have gone too far. Oreos are broken and poured into ice cream, pudding, and "dirt cake". They're used to line cheese cake pans and to make Oreo Ice Cream Cones. They are smothered and covered in fudge and white chocolate. They've been copied by Hydrox and generic others. (Well, technically Hydrox was made first, but really it was just a cheap prequel to the oreo.) And, horror of horrors, innocent oreos have been battered and deep fried and sold at carnivals the world over.When will the madness end? When will the oreo be restored to it's reverential place as manna from heaven?